OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
