You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so let's talk penis.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
