tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
