She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
This is classic penis vs brain.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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