His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
