Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
