a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
