haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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