he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
