I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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