So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
