someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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