Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
