she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Houston, we have a squirter
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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