i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
