how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
