id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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