Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
