I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
