my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
