This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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