Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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