i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
