wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
