It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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