I can text with my tongue
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am one with the molecules
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
