Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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