Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
