Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
A bitchslap is in order.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
