Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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