Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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