Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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