please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
