I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
