Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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