you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
