everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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