I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
