I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
