I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
