I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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