at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Where is the hickey?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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