I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
