I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
