I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just pee around me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think my moral compass just broke
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
