whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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