She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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