how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
