I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
