I think I died a long time ago.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
