you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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