i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
