i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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