It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Church boner. Awkwardddd
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sorry about my life...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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